Thursday, August 27, 2009

Are You There, Door? It's Me, Cyclist.

It was quite a memorable meeting we had today, wasn't it? Very exciting! I wish I could say it was a pleasure, but perhaps a little more notice before our next meeting would lead to less shouting and blood loss.

It all began when I was pedaling happily through Wrigleyville today. Suddenly you popped out and surprised me!

"Oh!" I exclaimed.

"Oh!" said the man in the car to which you were attached.


Then came the second surprise when I realized I was still on my bicycle! Oh, but what is that stinging sensation? That must have been where you poked me! Right on the first knuckle of my right index finger it was: a warm and runny souvenir of our brief rendezvous! Red, just like you! It looked like the beginnings of a Jackson Pollack! How pretty!

A second later, I was glad when my finger performed as hoped. It was then that I decided there was no need to draw out an otherwise very to-the-point and impactful get together. I turned my head to give you one last look and saw that the man who had been inside the car was now out and ministering to you, concern in his eyes. I hope you are okay!

How close we had come to a much more sorrowful exchange! How was it avoided? Had I swerved just out of the worst danger? Another inch and I surely would have lost control of my steed and been redirected pavement-ward. I was counting my lucky stars, but also wondering: had the lovely Alpha King I communed with only a quarter-hour earlier left me spellbound?

These thoughts and the surge of adrenaline were more than enough to keep me from being bored on the bike, but unfortunately the open wound and messy blood drips, no matter how pretty on my index finger, required heed. Forlorn, I cut short my ride and turned home, where I could properly attend to your gift! But on the way, I sure felt rough and tough to be seen riding with an open wound!

That didn't seem to make the drivers take any more notice of me, sadly. As I approached my street I was nearly force-hugged by one of your colleagues! My head was turned to check traffic (I needed to get into the turn lane) and when my gaze was redirected forward, I saw nothing but the rear hatch of an SUV that apparently wanted to try the bike lane on for size - right in front of me! This heartbreaker's rear door was full of happy glowing red lights and he must have liked the bike lane a lot, because he was stopping in it! What a flirt! But I pretended not to notice Mr. Bikelane McBrakeLights and slipped along to the left side without even a nod.

It was as if I was wearing a very door-friendly fragrance, because before I got home, I was approached by yet another! This time I coyly dodged a passenger side door of a car that was turning without using any of those festive lights! I hope I wasn't rude in my aloofness, but I'm gentleman and don't tap just any door that comes my way. You understand, of course.

Finally I got home, and after a very civil exchange with my apartment door (we have a very open relationship), I proceeded to put my Boy Scout first aid training to work! A good refresher! And now, I've earned the right to wear that t-shirt I've been admiring!
So, door, thanks for the memories! Next time though, a little heads up would be appreciated.


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